Don’t judge me please, I’m just a little emotional.

Well, I have been a little lax with the old blog the past week or so.  Have not really had the energy or the motivation to write anything and every time I did try I wound up whining about something or, if I tried not to, I couldn’t think of anything to write!

What has caused this? Well lack of exercise for one thing, I was truly exhausted last week for some reason…and man trouble.  Well, I wonder how it could really be man trouble when I’m not actually in a relationship.  However, Mr X has been in touch again recently, which has been great, nice to have a friend back etc.  But somehow the week before last I had managed to convince myself that he was no longer seeing the new person in his life.  I don’t know how I managed to achieve this, given I had been very strict with myself and telling myself not to read too much into things.  But it might have been the quantity of phone calls and the timing of them (i.e. some of them being late night calls, and post-drinking-a-bottle-of-wine-to-oneself phonecalls, and might I just clarify it was not I who was doing the drinking or calling?!). 

But sure enough, a week later….silence.  All calls and emails draw to an abrupt and noticeable halt.

Add to this the fact that he has taken time out to catch up with a number of people in person, but I remain strictly the “phone and email” friend…(and even then it seems, only when he hasn’t got anything better to do), and this tends to make me a little grumpy.  Only this time I don’t have any real basis for being upset about it, given we are not seeing each other so, presumably, I have no reason to be cranky about the fact that I am relegated to email and phone only, heaven forbid, don’t let the general public see that we are friends!

I just don’t get it.  If you don’t want to [cant?] be friends, that’s fine, but don’t pretend you do and make me feel even worse by treating me differently to everyone else (e.g. ignoring me) most of the time!

Not sure how to describe it really.  How about Shattered? Disappointed?

Idiotic.

Anyhoo- depression hits and all training goes out the window, it is far more appealing to trudge home from work with my nauseous stomach and aching chest, feed the dogs, shower and then crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head and try my best not to look puffy eyed in the morning. 

Ahhh the trials and tribulations of being a hormonal female.  I really do at times wish I was my Labrador.  Im not sure if she gets hormonal or not because she’s just plain crazy most of the time.  Crazy seems to be an acceptable state for Labradors…. How I do envy them.

My expectations for this “friendship” are far too high.  I realise that.  But I cant seem to help it.

Despite the lack of exercise, I am feeling a bit lighter, I think I have just been eating a bit less and not quite as much junk, more protein, so that’s obviously helped. 

I did, however, make it to the Friday morning run, which went really well, despite the “easy” pace being quite fast.  Managed to get through it without too much difficulty 🙂  Felt a mild sense of achievement after running to the top of a hill I have never quite managed to master.  Running with a group of people really does have an effect on your level of determination I think.

We ran a 12km fun run on the weekend, it was a great day, albeit a little warm as I forgot my hat, and also I “officially” didn’t compete, as I forgot my timing chip on the day(!!). Oh well.  Everyone did really well, and despite the warm conditions (due to race starting later and which we were definitely not used to given we have been training either early morning or late arvo), managed to get through without incident.  Although, many of us concluded we were quite dehydrated by the end.  However, we were just glad not to be the few people we saw about 4km from the finish being attended to by medical personnel whilst they were fitting and vomiting and all sorts of nasty business.  Poor fellow runners.

The ending however, was a bit of a debacle.  They had organised the race so that everyone would finish about the same time.  That is…40 thousand people all trying to make their way through a finishing chute really only designed for about 5 thousand people, if that.  (ok so granted it wasn’t all 40 thousand going through in the same moment, after all, we all run/walk different paces, but you get the idea A LOT of people vs chute designed for not A LOT of people).  Hopefully, the race organisers have learned from that experience and will not organise it this way next year.  Worth a shot though I suppose.  After all, people running a marathon kinda do deserve to have a full crowd cheering them over the finish line.   

I will be in the gym tomorrow night, had to miss it last week due to an occupational/educational seminar. I quite missed my session last week, but must make a concerted effort to get there again over the weekend.

I also had my mountain bike serviced on the weekend and have paid for my entry into not one but TWO skills courses.  I’m going to learn how to ride this machine!!! This is where the real fun will start, stay tuned for various pics of bloodied hands and shins, scrapes and bruises! (but also, hopefully, some spectacular landscape scenery!). Hopefully no snake or spider bites though…eeek.

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