I have officially started packing, yay! Ok, so there is still 8 weeks and 3 days before the tenants vacate, and 9 weeks and 3 days until my move date, but for a self-confessed hoarder such as I, one can never start too early on the packing process.
I’m sure the removalist will be appreciative of my amazing organisational skills.
I went through my closet on Sunday and I’m embarrassed to admit that it took 4 full green garbage bags of donations to Good Samaritans, 2 garbage bags of donations to the “rag” bin, and a tea-chest sized box of winter clothes to be packed away before my closet began to resemble a normal closet – and yet it is still full, and I still have to hang my “good” dresses and the remainder of winter coats in the second wardrobe. I should have taken before and after pictures because it really was rather impressive. How can one person accumulate so many clothes and not realise???? More particularly, how is it that I could still open the closet and whine about not having anything to wear?
Next up will be the shoe and “miscellaneous” drawer sorting. This is going to be more difficult. The Misc drawer is called the Misc drawer because it contains things that I don’t think I should throw away, but which I cannot think of a more appropriate place to store. How does one decide whether such items should stay or go?
And shoes, don’t get me started on that, I really have no idea how I’m going to face it. I did try on Sunday but all I could manage to pull out for removal was a pair of white strappy heels that I have had forever but have worn a total of 3 times. Thankfully strappy shoes are back in and it is summer, so I’m hoping I might have a bit of luck with offloading them on Ebay.
Sadly, I then decided to part with my chocolate brown stiletto boots which I adore, but simply cannot wear for more than about half an hour due to my oddly shaped feet. So they have been listed too.
Despite the fact that it is quite difficult to decide to part with these things, once I put those bags into the Good Sammies bin, making them officially irretrievable, I suddenly felt…lighter, and free-er.
Similarly, as with all of the emotional baggage that I have been lugging around over the past few years -the uncertainty and guilt of breaking off my engagement and later my relationship with M, the heartbreak, frustration and disappointment associated with Mr X, more guilt with a side of guilt and a healthy topping of guilt- I’m beginning to feel unburdened and enthusiastic about my future since I have started to just let go and stopped trying to control everything.
There are a few remaining ‘tendrils’ that I still need to detangle myself from, but to feel that warm glow of hope and happiness again is like being given a whole new life. I am free to become the person I want to be without any restrictions and without the burden of obligation as to who I think someone wants me to be. To not constantly be living inside my own head, rehashing the regretful things that I cannot change, but instead discovering a whole new world. To accept that things are as they are, that -like my past relationships- the current state of my life is a transitional phase, and to realise that I can find enjoyment in a life that now doesn’t, and is unlikely to ever, resemble the scenario I have been carrying around in my head for almost 3 years.
So, go ahead, declutter! Allow yourself to part with those boots that you adore, if they don’t suit your needs. You may still love them, and its unlikely that you’ll ever forget the 3 hours of agony you suffered wearing them, but every girl knows, there will always be another pair of boots that will inspire you to get out there and strut your stuff!