The Destruction of Destructive Emotions

Destruction is the way of the Stormtrooper

Image by Stéfan via Flickr

Oh Dear, my tardiness has reached a new level of tardy!

I truly have not had much opportunity to write recently as I am in full-blown packing/moving mode. The official move is Friday (day after tomorrow) and I am still VERY disorganised.  Too much time going through things with the requisite “oooh” ‘s and “aahhh” ‘s and “Oh! I forgot I had that!” ‘s.

There is a reason why Cancerians are known as hoarders…its because we ARE.  How we mere crabs even manage to survive with our little shells crammed full with our life treasures, is beyond me.  But I still manage it, though the act carrying it from place to place is starting to wear a little thin.

In addition to all of this packing and reminiscing, I have also made a start on the house renovations.  I strangely felt a little sad on Friday when I went in there to take a look and assess what needed to be done before I flew out of town on Monday.  I think it was just the looming “closure” of a chapter.  Part of it was probably because that for so long I had always imagined that when I moved out of my current house, it would be to move in with Mr X and start the wonderful life I had planned so carefully in my mind, together.

But though that is now never going to happen, I soon cheered up at the prospect of having a place that I could make completely my own, without having to consult or compromise, and that is a rather cool feeling.

So, bright and early on Saturday I trooped over there with a sledge hammer and jimmy bar and took to demolishing the hideous wardrobe with gusto.  There is something very satisfying about the act of destroying something with careless abandon. Whilst it might have been therapeutic had I been in a bad mood to start with, I still managed to feel even more light hearted for my efforts at the end (the fact that the room already looked like it had a facelift after removal of the odd-looking pine cupboard with calico-covered doors(wtf??) and the very fashionable browny-beige carpet, might have had something to do with that).

The wall did not emerge unscathed, as the wardrobe was attached in a rather unsual fashion, which made it impossible to detach without taking some plaster with it, but Im not too concerned, a much bigger, prettier wardrobe will be replacing it and covering a multitude of sins.

Today my new floorboards get installed and I cannot wait to stop by this evening to assess the handiwork.

This may not have been the new beginning I had hoped for 2 or 3 years ago, but it is real and it is the result of my doing and so, I storm ahead now, like a storm trooper, feeling (just quietly), a little chuffed with myself.

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