I had my first yoga class the other night.
Why is it though, that the moment the class falls silent and you are lying on the mat trying to relax and all of a sudden your stomach starts rumbling like a 747 taking off. It happens every time!
I think that’s partly why they ask what you don’t eat before class. But then, yoga is all about control after all. Controlling your muscles, controlling your limbs, controlling your breathing and controlling your…er…bodily functions.
The meditative side is also about controlling your mind…sort of. More specifically, it’s about controlling your mind to not control your thoughts, confusing? A little, but I think I get it. It’s perhaps more about learning to relax so that one day, not controlling your thoughts doesn’t take so much control.
Admittedly, I pretty much suck at both aspects of yoga- especially meditation, it was all I could do to stop myself from tapping my fingers through the “relaxation”. It’s just not natural for a room to be so quiet when it contains that many people.
I am, however, intrigued by this whole mediation thing. I decided some time ago that I wanted to start yoga…real yoga, at a real yoga place, so that I could also learn, not only the physical moves but also the spiritual ones.
As the yoga instructor was talking about allowing thoughts to pass through rather than holding onto them, I realised something that shocked me.
I’m angry. I. Am. An. Angry. Person.
At least, angry sometimes, and perhaps more bitter for the remainder.
I get annoyed at anything. People whistling in the hallway, my colleague cracking their knuckles, and sometimes just people speaking. it irritates me so much that I cant focus, and if I’m at work, I literally cant work.
Yes I get stuck on just about every thought I have and instead of allowing things that irritate or upset me to slip into the background, I focus on them, worry about them, get upset about them and before I know it, I’ve spent almost the entire working day seething about the mystery whistler up the hall, or I have tossed all night worrying about where I am in my life, or where I’m not.
If I can learn to meditate, maybe I wont worry so much about these things anymore ad I will be able to enjoy who I am and where I am at this moment withouth fear about what may or may not come my way and when.
Yes, I think this yoga thing is just what I need.
Here’s to Serene becoming Zen, or whatever it is that you become when you learn to be a little more…peaceful.