I have been a little hit and miss with my blogging lately. After the 27 [non]-debacle a couple of weeks ago I pretty much had a bit of an internal hissy fit and decided to disappear for a bit. Not just from blogging but from pretty much everything except work, which as fate would have it, has been more than enough for me to cope with. I haven’t been to yoga for over a week and I feel a bit crappy because of it, so I’m keen to make it back on Thursday (which is the earliest I can do it given my schedule). I did go for a run last Monday though, and lo-and-behold, this very day I pulled my road bike off the rack in my garage, dusted it off, pumped up the tyres and took it for a 40km spin with a newfound cycling buddy.
So, having calmed down a little I’ll fill you in on whats been happening.
Wednesday the week before last I gave a presentation at a public seminar. The event was related to my industry and there were also two other speakers on the evening. My presentation was rather vanilla-flavoured and I knew where I did and did not want the discussion going, purely because it’s not my area. However, during Q&A the discussion headed precisely down the path that I had tried my best to avoid. So, I also kept my responses vanilla-flavoured.
The other two speakers were far more candid.
Normally, I would consider this to be a good thing, but this was the first public presentation I had given on behalf of my employer of 14 months and I really wanted to stick to the stuff that I knew, but I also did my best to be as informative as I could even on the questions I would have liked to pass on. All went well, I had some good feedback in the foyer afterwards from a number of attendees. All in all, I was on a bit of a high for the rest of the week.
I suppose I should have realised then, that it was inevitable that I was due for a rather abrupt reality check.
Sure enough, two days later I received an email from our legal counsel, forwarding through an email that had been sent to the CEO about my presentation earlier in the week. The email had originated from someone who had attended the event and he was having a very spectacular rant about why he would never do business with us. It was all very dramatic, the email was entitled “WARNING: DANGER!”. Looking back, that should have been an indicator as to how much credence I should place in the following email. However, in light of the fact that a) it was my first public outing for my employer, b) I am trying really hard to add value to the company and c) not destroy my career in the process, I was devastated by the contents of the email. Firstly, I was offended, no – outraged because he was stating as a matter of fact, that I said certain things that I absolutely did NOT say. Some things word for word what other presenters had said on the evening.
I was furious.
Criticism I can take, but to send an email like this, which was factually INCORRECT, and which ultimately ended up in my CEO’s inbox, well, that’s not criticism. That is something else entirely, and it was potentially damaging not just to the company but to my career.
Upon calling our legal counsel immediately to clarify what had been said on he evening, she listened carefully, and finally agreed that as the contents of my presentation had been reviewed prior to the event, she simply couldn’t see me saying these things. However, the CEO had left for the weekend so I would have to wait until Monday to clear this mess up.
Great. two whole days to stew over whether or not I had a future with this company. Two whole days to go over and over the evening in my mind and to try and figure out where this guy had not only gotten the wrong end of the stick, but a completely different stick altogether!
I was a nervous wreck all weekend but by Monday morning, I realised it was wasted energy. There was way more to the story than I had been privy to, and the boss was very understanding. We are still somewhat confused by this man’s reaction to my presentation and though we can only speculate, if he did have a vendetta, he has probably failed to realise that it has done less to hurt the company and more to hurt the individual (i.e. me) but is still likely to have little impact overall. Given I have had a number of people contact me for potential future business it would appear that he was the only one to misinterpret the message on the evening.
Whilst I have the support of my superiors, it bugs me is that this guy sent this email to goodness knows how many people, and the fact that he was wrong, he specifically named me and so now my name is out there in a less than favourable light.
I guess now I know what a politician feels like. Who ever thought that lil’ old Serene could be so controversial?
But it does bug me, and it makes me angry. Who knows who has received that email and how it might come back to haunt me in the future…. but I suppose one thing I learned from stressing all weekend, is that there is little point worrying about what “might” happen.
So, closing the book on that one now…
On a completely separate issue, I now have a fully installed, fully functioning wardrobe. It’s wonderful. If I could live in my bedroom 24/7 I would. Perhaps thats partly why I haven’t made it to yoga in over a week- I feel so comfortable in my uncluttered, clean bedroom! Ok so I still havent finished the painting and I need to get new window dressings, but this is probably the best bedroom I have had since…well…ever!
It’s starting to look and feel like me, and suddenly I feel so much more settled and comfortable. My house is finally starting to become my home.
I have also, very spontaneously, booked myself 5 days on an island off Langkawi in November. This is a pure relaxation holiday, a time for me to get away, unwind, not think about work, or men, or renovations. A short reprieve to just recharge the batteries and experience some sunshine and warm weather, and if I’m lucky, maybe get a bit of a tan.
And in honour of said holiday plans, today I decorated a new shelf in my bedroom with my favourite photos from my travels over the past couple of years (hmmm the shelf is still looking fairly sparse)…
In any case, bring on the sunshine- time to dust of that bikini!