Nothing is Something


I got a call from Mr X yesterday. 

It was most unexpected, and I really wasn’t prepared.  I didnt recognise the number because I had deleted his number from my phone months ago. Had I bothered to study it long enough prior to answering, I may well have realised whose number it was and I may have chosen to ignore it. I was busy, distracted, and I answered it in the expectation that it was someone else confirming an appointment I had emailed about a couple of hours earlier.

I’m not sure what the point was, really. I guess he was just saying hi. I had emailed him months ago to wish him happy birthday but I did not receive a response and I figured that I would just let sleeping dogs lie.  After all, I had been feeling ok, and though I didn’t want to let his birthday slip by without acknowledgement, I was worried that sending that email- and not receiving any kind of response (as I fully expected) -would send me down another slippery slope.

But, I sent the email.  I didn’t get a response and I was fine with that.  I left it alone.

He has apparently been catching up with a number of people recently, which is good, perhaps he’s starting to realise that friendships take a little effort, just like everything else.

There was no mention of the baby or homelife.  Just work, study, mountain biking and housing.

The most important part about it was that when I disconnected the line, I didn’t dissolve into tears, I didn’t feel sick, nor angry, nor happy.

I just felt, nothing.

So, I think that means I’m ok?


4 thoughts on “Nothing is Something

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